I have so many thoughts in my head and I’m not certain how to work them into coherent conversation. (I’m sure you’ve had a sense of that recently reading my blog.) Much of what’s traveling through my head is completely opposite to the other. One moment will be filled with laughter, delight and beauty and the next with anxiety, uncertainty, fear and helpless hopelessness.
The last couple of times I walked outside snapping photos – I noticed nature is a reflection of my mind. There is beauty, endless heart, soul and mind filling beauty. But it isn’t there alone. It lives right next to those things that are faded, damaged, ugly, dying or even dead. Framing a picture in my mind, I wonder… should I crop out the portions that aren’t lovely? Do I filter out the things out of my vision that don’t bloom and dazzle? What is the benefit of seeing and capturing the things that don’t inspire, or worse cloud and dampen, our spirits? Is there one at all?
Paul & I watched Volver this evening. I haven’t been a huge fan of Pedro AlmodÃ³var in the past, but I enjoyed this story. The movie told a story about the beauty and horror that happens and exists in our lives. Although, I confess it is by no means a settled subject for me… the message that I heard in this film began to approach an answer to my question. There can be a purpose in seeing and acknowledging the horribleness that sometimes lives right next to the beauty in our lives. It’s the irreplaceable, raw, and healing power of community, connection, friendship, and love that is found in shared lives… all of it.
Case in point, one of my dear friends is going through a dark, difficult and unexplainable time. She feels guilty for burdening Paul & I. Last night I sent her a quote I’d read recently by Helen Keller: “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” I knew I meant it, but now I understand a little more why.